“I beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer."
This quote holds true to so many things in my life right now.
Here, I feel as though every emotion, each thought is amplified. Without knowing why or how, I end up thinking, worrying, wondering the inexplicable.
I tell myself to brush it off, breathe in the ocean air and move on. But before I know it, I'm off over-analyzing the next thing.
The easiest answer is to accept I am half crazy.
for now.
until I return to my snowy, ice-filled state and am yearning
to feel&live these crazy thoughts all over again.
I am grateful for this chance to grow, change, explore, be messy.
But at the same time, it's unsettling.
I've never been one to be overly dramatic, troublesome, or likewise.
But I'm on the edge of those new boundaries, constantly.
So here are a few things that seem to describe me lately. The push between being desperate for more time in Chile and the dire need for something familiar is exhausting. Amongst everything amazing, this experience has been a strenuous one. I can only pray God brings me to understand His plan for me sooner rather than later.Sometimes patience is the hardest virtue.
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